The active listening skill for today is: Reflect feelings.

As you attentively listen to the speaker be aware, or tune into the feeling message that is attached to the content. This skill is an effective way to get to a root of an issue.  Statements like: “I don’t know what else to do!” or “I’m always the one to apologize!” may be reflective of frustration. Reflecting this feeling back to the speaker “It sounds like you feel very frustrated by all of this” often opens a door to deeper understanding.

In relationship, reflecting feelings may go counter to what appears to be occurring.  For example, a person who feels embarrassed may exhibit anger.  Reflecting anger would be misdirected and lead to misunderstanding.  Understanding embarrassment as the true feeling can lead to congruent understanding and closer relationship.

I’ll wrap up this series on active listening tomorrow.

Thanks for reading and please leave a comment.