I’ve been presenting this week a way to take time away from a discussion in order to facilitate conflict resolution. Today I’m wrapping up the discussion with a few more ideas.
The process again is to recognize as early as possible your need for a time-out. For me it is that uneasy feeling in my stomach that trouble is about to happen. I trust that you can identify for yourself the physical symptoms of distress that lead to anger.
Once I’m aware of the need, the next step is to ask for the time-out. If both partners agree up front that they are willing to work on improving conflict resolution skills, then permission is more easily granted.
During the time-out I work on refocusing on the real issue, not focusing on my hurt. This requires me to remember my commitment to the relationship, my love and concern for my partner and to consciously calm myself.
After calming, I agree to re-engage with my partner to continue the resolution of the conflict. Use the conflict resolution skills previously discussed along with assertiveness and active listening skills to complete the process.
I’ll have more on relationships in upcoming posts. If you have a topic for discussion I would like to hear from you in the comments.